The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
