Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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