Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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