he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
