Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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