drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
