So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
