do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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