Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
