barbara walters just said penis...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Text me some of your sweat
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
