Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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