Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
