Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
