I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
