i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
