i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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