he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
