Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
