I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I think people are normalizing furries
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
