need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
