I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
