I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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