I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
