Do you still have your period?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I fill condoms, not promises.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
