Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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