i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
