We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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