I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
