i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
