Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
