I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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