my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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