It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
