She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
