Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
