She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
