Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
