Three words: puerto rican gang bang
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Holy sore nipples Batman
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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