Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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