I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
