69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
