Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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