I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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