I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
