dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
