you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
