dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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