just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
