I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
