i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
