would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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