I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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