Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
