I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
