What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
well, you know. whores of a feather.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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