Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
