I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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